Day 2

It’s all over whelming. I feel lost, abandon left out to die. I want to over come this but right now I’m wondering can I? My real dad and step mom have taken the side of my rapist they either believe in his lies or they never cared for me. I’m leaning more to the they never cared for me. My rapist walks around all smug like no one can do anything to him like this is all no big deal, but it is isn’t it? Today I just feel like crying I should probably get out of bed but I can’t it hurts to much the thought of seeing in face among a sea of strangers sickens me.

“Fairy tales are more than true: not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.”
― Neil Gaiman, Coraline

The beginning

Parents tell you your special and how you’ll do great things in life but I’m wondering will I? Today I’m starting a blog l’ll blog everyday for 365 days taking you through my story a story only I can tell.

I’m 15 and I was raped by my brother for 8 consecutive years. We were supposed to be family have each others backs but instead he’s broken me and I don’t think i can be fixed. I’m scared I’m lost I’m so mad at the world. He kept me quiet for 10 years but quiet I am no more. It’s my turn to stand up and show him he can’t hurt me, or well that’s what my councilor says. He hurts me everyday not physically but mentally I’m 800 miles away from him but I see him everywhere. He’s in Michigan with my step mom and dad and I’m in Mississippi with my mom and the guy who is a true dad to me. I’m not biologically his Daughter but he’s been here for me more then my dad. I see my rapist everywhere I see him in the hallways of school, the store, dark nights, my dreams. Everyone tells me he can’t hurt me anymore but yet he does. In January I told my mom about being raped i he has finally completely broken me, we have a law suit against him right now. October 9 he is being offered the first plea bargain 15 years but is that enough for me? Will any amount of time ever be enough for the scars and memories I have, or how I can’t trust guys.